We have all been there, and I am sure it has happened many times … failure, not being 80% there, things just not clicking, just struggling for whatever reason, and so on.
This happened to me the other day, things were just not clicking as they have done in the past. I was actually even improving on my task and goal, but for some reason, I was going 3 steps back that day. I could have just ‘called it an early day’, but if I did that, I would be letting down the others that needed me there – good or bad, they needed me there. So I had to persist … not because of me, but because of them.
So what do I do when I have times/days like this?
In the moment: I focus on the process that has gotten me to where I am. I believe in the process to get me out of my rut. Post the task, I will reflect on the process to question if anything needs to change or if I need further help.
Post the moment: I get a good night’s sleep. Over time, I have realized that I sometimes need to give myself a break, not be too hard on myself, but instead reflect on what I can learn from those moments, where I can improve, or simply say – it was just one of those days.
The best thing about a sunrise, is that it means it is a new day.
I also try to think long term, not get burnt out and keep things in perspective.
Here is an article from the NY Times on some other tips that high performing athletes use to help them with disappointment. I take excerpts on what I think are the key points
What Olympians Can Teach Us About Disappointment
Learning resilience
- For top athletes, grappling with failure is a job requirement, said David Fletcher, a professor of human performance and health at Loughborough University in Britain. A key difference between the best athletes and the rest of us is that they see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats, he said.
- While being naturally optimistic or conscientious helps, researchers say that to some extent, resilience can be learned.
The power of purpose
- Research suggests that people who have a sense of purpose in life deal with stress more effectively. Dr. Gervais has athletes identify their goals beyond winning, such as achieving personal growth or representing a marginalized group. When an athlete’s motivations feel anchored to something bigger than medals, he said, “disappointment is painful, but it’s not terminal.”
- Having multiple bars to measure success can help athletes to hedge against disappointment, Dr. Fletcher said, adding that the best athletes set what are known as process-oriented goals, meaning those within their control, as opposed to just performance-oriented goals, which are based on results. If they lose a race, they can still say they achieved other goals, like improving their technique, pacing or fueling strategy.
Grit as a team effort
- It’s also critical to have supporters who care about the athlete as an individual, not just a performer, said Lauren Loberg, a mental performance coach who works with Olympians.
Acceptance is the goal
- Today, these athletes appear to have arrived at some semblance of acceptance. If coming in ninth or fifteenth in the Olympics is “a low, you’ve got to put things in perspective,”
Powerful ideas:
Quotes from Sydney Harris
- “Never take life seriously. Nobody come out alive anyway”
- “Happiness is a direction, not a place”
- “It’s surprising how many people go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.”
- “If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size”
thought for the week 