At the start of my career, my first Myers-Briggs test showed that my extroversion:introversion type (defined as how I get my energy) swayed heavily to introversion. I then received the first honest feedback from my boss after I was promoted to managing people, which was that the people who worked for me wanted to know that they were working for a human, someone like them. I am paraphrasing here as the feedback was 30+ years ago. He suggested I add pictures of my family at my desk, which I did not do, but the feedback has stayed with me throughout my career. Good or bad feedback, one that stays with you for so many years, is pretty powerful.
My next few sets of Myers-Briggs tests (I took 3 or 4 after the first test), still had me as an introvert, but slowly moving to the middle. I was making progress but I remember that it was very hard, both physically and emotionally draining at times. But I kept trying.
On reflection, this was the right feedback at the time and I am grateful for the honesty. The feedback helped me understand that I needed to connect with the people I was given the responsibility to manage and lead.
As my career progressed, my role as a manager and leader grew not to manage and lead for my small team, but as being part of executive committees, leadership teams, and a Board member, I was now making decisions with others on how to manage, lead and impact many people. This is where I really struggled in having a voice. All of a sudden I was surrounded by people so much technically smarter than I was, and my natural ‘introversion’ person came out in full force! What I mean by this is that my voice just went quiet and at times ‘silent’.
I then joined Bridgewater Associates, where I heard and learned of this concept called Principles. Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates, ran the company by his ‘Principles’. Bridgewater is a tough place to work at, for reasons I will not get into here, but it was an experience that changed who I would become. That is because the concept of having Principles gave me a voice and the comfort of being an introvert.
My biggest fear in having a voice with people who were so much smarter than I was at the time, was that I did not want to be wrong. What I learned by using my own set of Principles, was that these personal Principles were what I believed in, the foundation that made me who I am and the guide on how I make my decisions. My mindset and conversations changed from ‘who is right’ to ‘this is what I believe in, this is how I make decisions’. I, or my ‘voice, no longer worried about being right or wrong, but instead I would open a dialogue on the Principles I, or we, would use to make a decision. This helped me find my voice!
But it did not stop there. One of the key concepts I learned from working at Bridgewater was that it is easy to agree on Principles at 30,000 feet, but until you have a dialogue on what you mean by your headline Principle (30,000 foot Principle), you will never get in sync on the Principle. Let me give you an example – I am sure most of us will agree that having transparency is a Principle that we should have at work. We want transparency from an executive team and from each other. After all, transparency builds trust. But is your definition of transparency the same as mine? What if our review sessions were recorded and shared with others? This would fall in the principle of transparency, but how many of us would be comfortable with that? If you have a close knit team, that works to truly help each other get better, which in turn will make the team better, there could be huge value in this … if used the right way. You can have others see your strengths and weaknesses and help out where and when you need help, and where they may need help from your strengths. That being said, I know that this is not an easy type of transparency some people, if not most, will be comfortable with.
This is why Principles need context. We all come from different backgrounds, different life experiences, different family responsibilities and we are at different stages in life and career. For example, today I have zero problem if someone says to me that I am an a-hole, but know that my next question will be to explain why. In my earlier part of my career, I know that my mindset would not be this approach but having a set of principles has really changed who I am and how I look at work and life.
My key message here is to have dialogue with yourself and your team on what the headline Principle really means. This way the 30,000 foot headline will have an actual meaning to it. The headline Principles should never really change – We operate as a transparent organization – but the meaning of what transparency is, will continue to grow as you as a person, and/or your team, grows.
What to do next
- Write your headline Principles on
- How you live, or want to live life
- How you want to be seen as a manager and leader
- How you want to be as a parent
- Review your Principles
- Do not underestimate how challenging it will be to live your principles on a daily basis
- Explain, give context, to your headline Principles
- Review them to make sure they have enough detail that anyone can read them and know who you are
- Do this with your team
- Do not tell them your Principles, but have them write up their own Principles
- You can always object or add any key Principle that may be missing
Powerful ideas (worth repeating again):
- “The greatest enemy of learning is knowing”, John Maxwell
- “Be who you are and do what you do, as long as you’re here for the team.” Pete Carroll
- Do not look to shine, look to make the guy next to you shine, France Rugby team
- “Don’t worry about the level of individual prominence you have achieved; worry about the individuals you have helped become better people.” – Clayton Christensen
- “There is no limit to what a man can do if he doesn’t mind who gets the credit” – Ronald Regean, a sign he kept on the Oval Desk
- “The lessons we took from our playing days still feel just as relevant now: staying composed under pressure, leading with purpose, and surrounding yourself with great people.” – Dan Carter, NZ Rugby
- Ideas are easy, execution is hard, a phrase we used at Builder
- The two most powerful warriors are patience and time
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You can learn more about this through Ray Dalio’s book called Principles. There is also the book called The Fund which talks about the other side of Bridgewater.
thought for the week 